Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Easter Shopping

It really was a planned trip. Sort of. I mean, it's right there on my calendar: shop 4 Easter. Then I went off to have coffee with Helen my Helen. As a surprise, she picked me up instead of meeting me there. After coffee, I was feeling invigorated and healthy, especially after the strong java jolt and the seeds, raisins, nuts, and fat of the Morning Glory Muffin. So I decided I'd walk to Walmart, do my Easter shopping, and walk home with my goodies! And oh, the goodies. Everything was glittering or pink or fluffy or yummy. Not to mention that we have a new baby now to buy for, so a visit to the baby section was a must. Back again to the Easter sections. Chocolate in all kinds of shapes. Fun things to do outside! It's spring after all. I LOVE Easter, mostly because I have such fond childhood memories. My dad wasn't religious, so he stayed home while we went to Easter Mass and made us the most glorious Easter hunt in the world, with clues and chocolates and a big gift at the end. We ran all over the house, outside, up and down the stairs, looking under beds and in the bathtub. In fact, we have one of these hunts every single year with the children (everyone under 50 takes part). And now I have them with my grandchildren and I can't wait. When I got the cash, first I was shocked by the price (after all, every single thing I bought was "rolled back", then I suddenly remembered that I didn't have my car. I wondered if I could push the buggy home and then return it. Or would alarms go off as soon as I hit the perimeter? Would the police believe that I meant to put it in my car and return it as soon as I got home? Fortunately, at that moment I spied some (roll-back priced again) shopping carts hanging on the wall, the kind old ladies who live in apartments use. I bought one. Out in the parking lot, I hid in a shed they have spread everywhere to store their carts, an empty one with few cars parked around it. I felt like Spidey or Superwoman. I took my new wheelie out of the packaging (hard enough just doing that; teeth and the one finger nail I have left were involved) and tried to read how you put the wheels on. Since I didn't have a wrench, I decided I could just stick the one set of wheels on with a piece of plastic from the wrapping. The other set would probably just sit there once they were on the ground, I thought. Then I stuffed all my Easter treasures into the bag, which only left five for me to carry. I rolled out of the shed, a changed woman, a super hero who walked to and from the store. It was lovely outside! So warm I figured I might have to remove my coat, since the sweat was, for some reason, pouring down, though I didn't want to rejig anything - the bags on my arms and the bags in my cart were so perfectly balanced. Halfway down the lot, the little wheels fell off for the first time. The second time, several of the bags flew out my hands at the jolting halt of the cart. I bent over, forgetting to use my knees, and my back complained loudly. But I managed to balance all the bags once more. The third time, I decided I could tilt the cart and do with only two wheels. I stuck the wheels in my coat pocket. It worked extremely well. We got up the hill, down the sidewalk, and to the intersection before one of the remaining two wheels fell off. The plastic thingy that I had stuck on the end of the wheel post had been lost. I stuck the wheel back on and asked it (out loud I'm afraid), to just make it across the intersection and we would see what we could do when we got on the other side. Luckily, it listened! I got all the way across the four lane highway onto the sidewalk. Then I took all the bags out and dug up the instruction sheet. Lo and behold, there was a little wrench tucked into the bag of screws and other thingies. But I decided a little tightening of the screw with my fingers would do the trick until I got the short distance home, then I promised the cart (again out loud) that I would fix it properly. I took off my coat and laid it across the cart, because by now I was sweating profusely. Partly along the sidewalk, the plastic thingy and the screw fell off at the same time. The sudden jolt pitched a
number of the bags onto the sidewalk. One of them was filled with those bright plastic balls that I pictured the grandkids playing with up and down the yard. Easter bunny-inscribed that they were, they hopped across the road, glanced harmlessly off car wheels, floated away in water-filled ditches, bunny faces grinning all the way. When I finally dragged myself home, bags and cart in my arms and on my back, I realized that the little wheels and my house/car keys had fallen out of my coat pockets during the mishap. Despite a thorough search, none of them were found. Perhaps they bounced away with the balls. Tomorrow I will go shopping with the car. The locks on our house are being changed this afternoon.
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