Thursday, December 15, 2011

To Market, To Market, Will I Be a Fat Pig?

I've discovered that sitting at my computer tweeting, scribing, linking, facebooking, googling, skyping, and chatting has done absolutely nothing for my butt. In fact, I am expanding as I sit here. I may be stuck here for good. Soon my cheeks will spill out over my desk chair onto the floor.

I did have a plan. Under my desk is my step. It’s made of solid foam and it’s just high enough to require some work to step up and down. Currently it serves as my footstool. Two lovely blue weights gather dust to my left. They would be excellent for exercising the arms while I facebook. The stairs loom over to my right. Running up and down them for more water would be good for me. Both for the cardio and the fluid. Instead I seem to think a bottle of red wine more conducive to marketing.

Has all of this been working? Have I sold a rash of books? I have absolutely no idea. I’m too busy to check. 

I am engrossed in cyberworld, anchored to my chair by my enormous derriere, scrambling to find those weights under the dust and piles of paper. My eyes are glued to the screen. My fingers are the only part of my anatomy getting thin. Even my fingernails have disappeared. My pinky is especially slender because of her habit of sticking straight up in the air every time I take a sip of wine. She gets a real work-out.

How can you possibly help me?

Go buy one of my books, for godssake, so I can rise to my feet before it’s too late.

Check out the new chapter book from Imajin Books called Imajin This! You get to preview all the authors before you buy – all for free from Smashwords. Including The Bridgeman and Victim.

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