How To Be An Author

So you want to write a book. Not simply write it, though. You want to get it published for all the world to read.

Here's how to do that.

1. Sit down in your desk chair and open your laptop.

2. Write.

3. Do this every day for several hours for several months or even a year or two.

4. Write "The End" when you finish the book.

5. Take back everything you just wrote and boil it down to a one-pager, a paragraph, and a one-liner.

6. Write a clever, witty, unique query letter relating your skills and the strengths of your book, but make it SHORT.

7. Spend hours searching for someone who wants your book (e.g. your genre/your subject) or you (self-starter, enthusiastic promoter, great writer).

8. Read in detail the requirements for sending the query letter and email or mail your clever, witty, unique one to the agent/publisher.

9. Repeat #'s 5-8 as many times as it takes to get an agent/publisher.

10. Self publish.

Not everything I just wrote is a lie or an exaggeration. Tinged with sarcasm, perhaps, but that's only because I am currently struggling with a multitude of projects, a dearth of promo budget, a touch of writer's block, and a sagging Amazon rank. For now, the joy has gone out of Mudville.

Sometimes I think John Steinbeck was correct when he wrote, "The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business." Mind you, my uncle made quite a lot of money on horses. But he had to have money in order to make it - he bought a horse, paid for its training and upkeep, and hired a jockey. Same with book selling, it seems. In order to sell a lot, you need to buy a lot of market space. 

There are definitely those who get lucky. I don't happen to be one of those. Yet. 

There it is...that little word...yet. The lure of the slot machine. The sound of winning. 

What would winning look like for me? A top Amazon rank. Huge sales for me and my publisher. Fan recognition. Invitations to read, sign and speak. And yet...

The true joy lies in #1 and 2 above. Sitting down. Writing. The flow of the letters and words and ideas straight from the sub-conscious through the fingers, onto the page. The thrill of a plot twist that seems to arrive from space. The companionship of characters you've grown to love. Spending time in a location that's idyllic in some way.

Maybe that's how to be an author. Allow the writing to be front and center. Don't forget about the promotional aspects, but put them in perspective. You can always self publish. 

Top Amazon ranks and huge sales might not follow, but who said fan recognition and invitations to read, sign or speak had to be quantified? Even a dozen fans and a couple of book club appearances can make you feel like a somebody. Or like an author.

Catherine Astolfo has five published novels from Imajin books (www.imajinbooks.com) and several short stories published in anthologies. Check them out here: www.catherineastolfo.com.

There is No I in Team

You know that saying, "There is no I in team", right?

Well this morning (LA time) I had a thought that there is, actually, a lot of "I" in team.

This contradictory view was actually started by my publisher, Cheryl Tardif, of Imajin Books.

www.imajinbooks.com 

   Not that she was advocating against the concept 

of playing as a    team.

As a matter of fact she encourages it. 

Her authors have a team chat line. 

We work as a team on Facebook and Twitter.

We share and support and encourage whenever we can.

This is the first time, however, that I have been involved in team marketing through an ebook bundle with Imajin. That's where the "I" comes in.

I get to be included with a whole bunch of other talented writers.

I get the benefit of their networks, expertise, a shared (and therefore much larger) budget, combined effort, coordinated marketing, and tons of encouragement.

I get to be part of a magnificent promotion. Naturally we have high hopes for our sale.

But regardless, we will have fun.

We'll send each other encouraging words.

We'll share our hopes, dreams, and moments of success.

That's the "I"! I am happy! I am thrilled.


Here's your "I": you get 12 entire novels for $1.99. You don't even have to choose between food and books. Repeat after me: "I can have both!"

DEADLY DOZEN HOLIDAY SALE

Atychiphobia or Jonah Complex? Me?

 Part One - Atychiphobia

During my publisher's latest promotion, I began to realize that I was clenching my teeth, picking at my nails and pulling my hair even as I cheerfully followed instructions re the fabulous marketing ideas. I suddenly acknowledged that I was not having fun. That I had a deep-seated aversion to bragging about myself to the world.  

Although I love my own books, am proud as a peacock that I wrote them, adore my publisher - I wasn't enjoying the promos. Why not?

I decided to look up inspirational talks about success and discovered not one, but two, syndromes from which I may be suffering. I just have to decide which one. As they say, acceptance is the first step to recovery.

First, I investigate the most popular ailment. Perhaps I have acquired Atychiphobia, commonly known as the fear of failure. According to Mind Tools, there are four main signs of atychiphobia.

1. "A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects." I don't think I have this symptom. I'm usually very excited about new marketing ideas. It's the actual work of the project that gets me nervous. As I'm tweeting and facebooking, I am convinced no one is really listening. I am talking to myself. Despite the lovely retweets, follows, Likes, purchases, and direct messages, I still feel completely alone. Probably because I am. Alone, that is, here is my office, unable to see the audience or hear any applause.
Strike symptom 1.

2.  "Self-sabotage   – for example, procrastination, excessive anxiety, or a failure to follow through with goals." Hmmm. I like things done way ahead of schedule where possible. So, no procrastination signs. Excessive anxiety - well, my nervousness doesn't stop me from carrying through with the assignment or goals or tasks - so, scratch excessive. Failure to follow through - nope, I follow through. I get it done. I just don't enjoy it. I feel frustrated and depressed, not before, but during and after the promo.
Scratch symptom 2.  

3. "Low self-esteem or self-confidence   – Commonly using negative statements such as 'I'll never be good enough to get that promotion,' or 'I'm not smart enough to get on that team'." I might have to cop to this one. I do tend to suffer from shyness and a lack of confidence. But as anyone will tell you, most people don't notice. They would probably argue with me. They don't see my shaking knees or the ache of my jaw. I plunge into everything despite the lack of confidence. Although it's always with me, I employ techniques for appearing comfortable and confident: big smile, firm handshake, deep breaths, written speeches.
Symptom 3 - only half.
  
4. "Perfectionism – A willingness to try only those things that you know you'll finish perfectly and successfully." Oh, I have to admit to this one. I rarely tackle anything unless I'm pretty sure I'll be a huge success at the skill or task. Maybe this explains the post-promo depression (I'm coining it as PPD). Afterward, the results are never what I think I should have accomplished! I berate myself for not being number one. For not surpassing Sara Paretsky or Louise Penny. Aha! I have this symptom for sure!

Symptom 4 - I own this! I am perfect at it.

However, since I only have one and a half of the symptoms of a fear of failure, do I really have atychiphobia? Perhaps not. Perhaps I have Jonah Complex. On to the next set of research!

BTW: ImajinBook's Summer Sizzle promotion, sale and contest can be found right here, until July 20: http://www.imajinbooks.com/contests-events

PS Some promoters I admire who seem to thoroughly enjoy doing it (so much so, they make it their profession). Check them out when you get a chance, especially if you are an author with atychiphobia - they'll take over for you.

Rebecca Dahlke runs Dirt Cheap Mystery Reads: allmysteryenewsletter.com

Michael Gallagher runs Kindle Books and Tips: http://www.fkbooksandtips.com/

On Marketing

Last night, I had one of those epiphanies that seem to be self-evident, but sometimes are not. I went out for dinner with a group of lively, amazing female friends. 

That was excitement enough, but most of them had recently read my new book, SweetKaroline, and they actually wanted to talk about it! They didn’t have to. We could’ve mentioned the book, perhaps, and moved on. They were genuinely excited about Sweet Karoline. I believe they honestly liked it and think it’s my best work.

Our discussions ranged from “who wrote the diary?” to debates about race and bigotry and child abuse to questions about how a book or its author becomes well known.

As to the latter, I have often slipped into pity mode on this score. I tweet, do paid advertising, plaster myself all over the free sites, and generally try every trick I can think of to promote my books. My novels aren’t easy reads, I have to admit. But I know there are people out there (like me) who love to read challenging books. So I keep slogging and trust me, sometimes I am quite dispirited.

Then along comes that group of intelligent, spirited, interested women (whom I call the Bosco Bunch). They are genuinely excited for me. They get the messages in the book. One of them told me she identified with a huge number of passages. Another said she had garnered a new interest in the life of black and native Canadians. Those moments made every single second of cyber-selling worthwhile. Every doubt that I had about being an author was instantly dispelled. It didn’t matter that most of the world is sailing along without knowing my name or Sweet Karoline or the Emily Taylor mysteries. The readers who have ventured into my novels and are happy that they got their money’s worth are the reasons for publishing. 

Meeting with my readers face-to-face is the best possible scenario. Unfortunately, I can’t always do that. Thus I reach out to them through cyberspace.

As for the marketing grind, which I usually despise,   thanks to http://bookmarketingbuzzblog.blogspot.ca/2013/07/do-you-promote-books-like-dexter.html

I at last have a mantra. Here’s what they say about book marketing:

“…accept your uniqueness. You are a writer and a publicist, with your own voice, style, ideas, and experiences.  Be who you are meant to be.”

So I will pursue more face-to-face marketing opportunities, because, although they may be fewer and won’t bring me fame and fortune, they are the kind I love. They are “me”.

At the same time, I vow to embrace the tweeting and good-reading and shelfari-ing and facebooking and googling and well, you know the drill. As a writer I don’t love them, but as a publicist I shall!

 

Go here for my books: www.catherineastolfo.com

The Sweet Karoline launch dinner was

held at our favourite restaurant, Fanzorelli's.

If you live near Brampton, ON, go get some great food!

www.fanzorellis.ca 

Two More of Karoline's Godparents!

You know how you have a baby shower and everyone comes and gives best wishes? Well, I'm going to introduce you to the ones who gathered at Sweet Karoline's book baby shower to give their endorsements. Come on in, maybe you'll meet some authors who are new to you and become your faves too. 

I met Mike (Michael J. McCann) at Word on the Street Toronto last year. Although I'd met him virtually (he's also a member of Crime Writers of Canada), we hadn't been introduced face-to-face. I immediately loved his enthusiasm, friendliness and sense of humour. So I bought his book. How thrilled was I that I also loved his writing? I immediately read another and another. So when it came to an endorsement, he was one of my first picks. Even though he was massively busy, he read Karoline for me.

Here's  an intro to Michael J. McCann from his website: 
Michael J. McCann lives and writes in Oxford Station, Ontario on seven acres in the Limerick Forest south of Ottawa. 

Lucky bugger, eh? His books are fabulous. You should read them. Here's a bit about the first novel I read.

Homicide Lieutenant Hank Donaghue is on vacation when he stops overnight in Harmony, a quiet little town where nothing ever happens. Without warning, the police kick down the door of his motel room in the middle of the night and drag him off to jail on suspicion of having strangled a woman behind a bar. Although he insists he’s a cop himself and had nothing to do with it, the local chief of police won’t listen. An eyewitness claims he saw Donaghue go behind the bar where the murder took place – and the victim was Chief Askew's wife. Donaghue calls on Detective Karen Stainer to help get him released from jail. Once he's free, he and Karen must find Marcie Askew’s killer before it’s too late! 

Go get Mike's books here: Michael J. McCann





Next up is Lisa Pell. She is one of my virtual friends, believe it or not. We hooked up on Facebook and Twitter and started conversing. Lisa lives in Washington, D.C., and I haven't had a chance to visit her there - yet.

Lisa (in the middle) and her hubby to the right

At one point, she asked me to read her book, and I was honoured to do so. Later, she actually included my review in Who's Your Daddy, Baby? Here it is:

 “The topic is certainly current, given the space age approaches to fertility. Add to that the connections through the cyber world and the story couldn’t be more contemporary or intriguing…However, what I really liked most about this book was the writing. It’s intelligent and witty, informative yet easy to read.”

   – Catherine Astolfo, author of the Emily Taylor Mysteries and Past President of Crime Writers of Canada

 

Here's a bit about the novel, from Lisa's website:

 

Inspired by the author’s experience, Who’s Your Daddy, Baby? is the story of Lori McGuire Pomay, a happily married career woman living in suburban Washington, D.C.  Lori undergoes genetic testing for in vitro fertilization and her world is rocked when she is told the dad she always knew could not possibly have been her biological father.  This mid-life shocker sends her into an alternately hilarious, heartwarming, and heartbreaking search for truth about her heritage – from Appalachian Cherokees to Purple Kings on a church stage, with high-rolling gamblers, car dealers, dentists, and all manner of confused amnesiacs in their seventies along for the ride. 

 

If you think it sounds great, you're right! Lisa and I have never met in person, but we will, I just know it. Now that we're connected by being godparents of each others' books, it's inevitable.

 

And when I read about her witty, fun-loving ways, I just know it's going to be a meeting of the jovial minds. Go buy Who's Your Daddy, Baby? here at Lisa's Website. 

Endorsers! How I Love Thee!

Since we have to wait a little bit for Sweet Karoline to show up, I want to introduce you to my amazing endorsers.

What's an endorser, you ask? Well, the first criterion is that the endorser must be another writer whom you admire. The second criterion is that s/he is willing to read your novel in manuscript form, ignore any errors (this is pre-edit, you see), and tell you what they think. You expect them to be honest, because obviously if they don't like the book, they won't provide an endorsement.

Fortunately for me, I found six authors who fit the criteria perfectly. I'm going to show them to you, two at a time, alphabetically.

I met Mel Bradshaw through Crime Writers of Canada. Before I met him in person, I had already read his book, Victim Impact, and loved it.  Once I met him in person, I loved him, too, and his wonderful wife, Carol.

Here's a quick peek from his website:

Torn from the Headlines: Victim Impact

Drug wars and courtroom drama in the Golden Horseshoe. The rights of the criminally accused versus the needs of the victims. A twenty-first century thriller.

When criminologist Ted Boudreau’s academic interest in biker gangs brings tragedy into his home, a penal progressive must confront his inner vigilante. There will be other victims. Can all receive justice?

“It’s a haunting novel… a must read.” (Don Graves, Hamilton Spectator)

I have to admit I haven't gotten to the Shenstone stories yet, but I have them ready to read once I complete two other novels I've got my nose into. Mel knows why I am especially interested in the Shenstone mysteries! Quarrel with the Foe and Fire on the Runaway are on my shelf. You should get them on yours, too. Go here for all the links: Mel's Website

"Detective Sergeant Paul Shenstone of the Toronto police gets his first case as lead investigator in 1926. His professional assets include a year of university, combat experience during the Great War, and a bachelor's freedom to focus on a problem without family distractions. His liabilities? A thirst for whiskey despite Prohibition, a fondness for women, and a tendency to go it alone rather than fit into an organizational pigeon-hole."

Mel Bradshaw and Me at a Signing with the "Other Mel" (Campbell) to Mel's left.

 Next in line is Liz Bugg. I recently attended the launch of her third book, Yellow Vengeance. (That's one of the two novels I told you about that I'm currently reading.) I have read the first two as well, and love them all.

Here's a sneak peek from Liz's website about her first book, Red Rover.

Thalia Spencer is missing. Is she in trouble or simply avoiding her family?

This fast-moving thriller follows Calli Barnow through the twists and turns of Toronto’s neighbourhoods, from rundown but friendly Kensington market to the Church Street gaybourhood, through the ravines of Rosedale and Mount Pleasant’s Mausoleums.

Calli is an engaging companion, flawed but determined, pursued by her own demons as she tries to find a missing girl before more trouble finds her.


The above synopsis mentions the three things I love about Liz's books: the fast pace, the setting descriptions, and the wonderful Calli whose witty, sardonic voice endeared her to me from the start.

Liz and I at the launch of Yellow Vengeance.

I've met Liz on a number of occasions and, I'm happy to report, not only do we like each other's writing, we like each other too! What a perfect combination.

Got get Liz's books at her website right here. 

I think I'm in Love

There aren’t many things I dislike about my writing career, but I have to admit I am fond of the marketing side. There are probably some deep psychological reasons for this (writers tend to be sensitive, ya know), but the main explanation for me is that it take time. Time I could be spending on – well, writing.

Instead, I tweet tediously, blog blandly – I mean, beautifully - facebook frantically, link-in laboriously – all right, you get the picture.

Imajin my joy when I discover the Author Marketing Club through my publisher, Imajin Books! The site now has 3000 members. WAY more than I could reach in one fell swoop. And all they ask of me is a blog and a couple of links. I think I’m in love.

Fellow authors - go!

Book Marketing & Selling Tips For Authors

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

When I was 12, my bedroom walls were covered in magazine pictures and posters of Marlon Brando and Mickey Rooney. (Yes, really, Mickey Rooney.) I used to spend hours imagining that I was a reporter. I was eventually invited over to M & M's houses for dinner. I became their friend, their confidante, and I was the one who got the big stories.

When I was 17, I tried to leave high school at Grade 12 and go to Ryerson College to study journalism. Marlon and Mickey were no longer on my bedroom wall, but they were still waiting for me to come and interview them. That idea got shot down by my parents based on advice from my school counselor. 

As a result, Marlon and Mickey never met me. 

These days, I have different idols. They are writers. Mainly female, because I not only love their novels, I love their personalities. They are feisty, attractive, thin, well spoken, smart, and confident. Their books are instant best sellers. They write mystery, the genre I love, the genre I write. I adore their characters. They take their plots into very dark territory sometimes – another technique I admire (and write).

So attending a conference like Bouchercon transports me back to the days of posters all over my walls. Back to a time when I believed I would become friends with my heroes (in this case, heroines; goddesses of creativity). As a writer, with a panel listing of my own, I must, however, remain dignified. I must remember that half a century has gone by since I was twelve.

I arrive early at the panel for Elizabeth George and sit not too close, but not too far away. Very quickly, the room fills up. A woman sits to my right, but suddenly gets a text from her sister, and has to leave. By then most of the seats are taken, so a fit, good-looking gentleman in glasses asks if he can take her place. Of course I nod and smile.

He has an uncapped coffee cup in his hand and says, “I hope I don’t spill this on you. I almost spilled it on Elizabeth George and she got really mad at me.”

“Oh my god,” I respond with a laugh, thinking, but you were that close to her, you lucky...

“But it’s okay,” he continues, “I’m her husband.”

I try not to throw myself at him, but I do gush, and we end up having a fabulous conversation about the creative process. He’s not a writer, but he watches carefully as his wife goes through book after book. He’s friendly, has a great sense of humour, and is obviously an admirer of both his wife and writers in general. He takes one of my bookmarks. I think I love him.

I don’t wanna grow up.  My Author's Page

Never Would've Imajin'd

     The last time I sent Emily Taylor for a tour around the world, she created a storm. An Amazon Kindle ratings storm, that is. The Bridgeman went to #11 with 9300 downloads. Victim went to #14 with 14,000 downloads. Afterward, the sales were brisk. My wonderful Twitter world began to talk and spread the word and buy. Not only that, they emailed and tweeted that they enjoyed my characters, the setting of Burchill, and the story (despite the sometimes tough messages embedded).

    My Imajin publisher, Cheryl Tardif, is a genius at marketing, and I say this without bias: I had watched her career as a writer before I even became an author at her new publishing company. She was then, and is now, one of those people who is both creative and savvy. She researches, experiments, and follows the results. Now she brings her authors with her.

    When she suggests something, I do it to the best of my ability. I'm not very tech savvy and I tend to get frustrated with the ins and outs of the virtual world. Rather than looking under another internet rock, I'd rather slam the lid down on my laptop, walk away, and pray the icon I'm looking for will pop up while I'm gone. Lucky for me, I have Cheryl and my husband, Vince, who often intervenes before Laptop goes flying.

    So when Cheryl said, Let's do another Bridgeman promo, I was hesitant, but I did as I was told. We held the promo on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm not sure the day of the week is relevant, though I thought perhaps people would be around on a weekend looking for a book to read. Especially if the weather sucked in their part of the world, they way it does in mine currently. Friday night, 9:30 p.m., the stats were thus: The Bridgeman 760; Victim 13277; Legacy (the third in the series who's not yet had her coming-out party) 32614. Only 560 downloads.

  

Another secret I must tell you. I am somewhat easily crushed. Doesn't mean I don't get back up and fight, but I do have to lay on the mat for a while and nurse my bruises. Virtual or not. So on Saturday, I must admit, I tried not to think about The Bridgeman. Since one of my short stories had been nominated on Thursday for an Arthur Ellis Award, I had lots to keep my spirits buoyed.
But I did have to peek on Saturday night, again 9:30 p.m. The Bridgeman 491; Victim 18297; Legacy 40426. Legacy was actually doing worse! Huh?

    After a busy Sunday morning, I finally peeked at 1:30 p.m. The Bridgeman 516, Victim 17128; Legacy 44060. Readers appeared to be sampling Victim. Perhaps after reading The Bridgeman? Or downloading it for free?

    At 11 p.m., after family stuff on Sunday afternoon and more than one glass of red wine, I spied a Tweet from Imajin. The Bridgeman had hit #21 overall. So in I went to Amazon and checked. I was surprised, thrilled, amazed, puzzled...The Bridgeman was now #6 in mystery & thriller combo; #4 in mystery alone; #3 in women sleuths category.

    What was the huge difference between the other two days and this one? It couldn't all be my hourly (and sometimes half-hourly) tweets. In fact, I was terrified of boring my followers into unfollow-dom. I used World Literary Cafe, which I am certain helped a great deal. I posted on Goodreads, another great service to readers and authors. I did the same all three days, though.

    On Sunday, I paid $20 to Kindle Author.  I'm not sure if Kindle Author made the difference, or whether it was a cool rainy Sunday and everyone felt like reading. It's hard to conduct an experiment when there are so many variables. At this writing, I'm not sure of the number of downloads, but suffice it to say that if The Bridgeman got to #21, a whole bunch of new readers are involved in my series!

   

    I think I've told you before, I do have faith in my writing. I love doing it, I love sharing it, I am thrilled every single time someone tells me they like my books. But I was never that good at the marketing angle. Then along came my miracle, Imajin Books and Cheryl Tardif, and I am, at a rather advanced age, just beginning my career as an author. Loving every single minute (expect for those pauses on the mat). Never would've imajined!

The Emily Taylor Mystery Series 

Imajin Books

Trailers

Workin' Hard

 

     This afternoon, I am writing. I have to do an article for our magazine, so I make a blank document and give it a name. I decide to do some tweets. Next I fill out the tax forms for our business. Now, the writing.

     Suddenly two morning doves alight on the windowsill outside my office. I have no idea why morning doves are up in the p.m., but here they are. One is a bit larger, with lovely blue markings; the other is small and mostly soft brown. I think the bigger one must be the male, because now and then he jumps on top of the other one. Plus he’s got the plumage. All males have plumage because they need to attract us females into their nests.

     Anyway, I’m still admiring my visitors when our smallest cat comes up to the shelf inside (which my husband built so they could look out the window…) and she sees the doves. They can’t see her, however. They continue to ruffle their feathers, coo; the female moves back and forth to escape her boisterous mate. Our cat begins to race, left to right, across the shelf, tracking the birds as they play. She can’t get at them; they can’t see her; no harm done.

     For some reason, this reminds me of my writing. I’m supposed to be writing. What a lovely scene to write about. However, I do have that article to finish and I have begun the finishes touches on novel five. Then there’s that cozy and the children’s book.

     Speaking of book five, I think about the Emily Taylor series and how my lovely publisher has suggested connecting it to Burchill. I’d claimed Book 4 was the last in the series, but Cheryl Tardif of Imajin Books is a brilliant marketer, and she knows what’s she talking about. After we spend so much time branding the Emily Taylor Mystery series, why not keep it going?

     I sit and bask in the gratitude for a few minutes, as the sun shines through my spotty windows, right on my face, warm and spring shy. The Bridgeman has been selling all around the world. People in the US, UK and Germany have my book, as well as my own Canadians. I am in awe. A few short months ago, I would never have believed this. I am excited, happy, challenged, thankful. Now Victim is going to spread her wings with a free promo, fly off to foreign lands, sit in homes hundreds of miles away from where I sit…doing nothing.

     Back to the writing. What did I call that article again? I know it’s on the desktop somewhere.

     Meanwhile, the doves fly away and Miss Monk goes to sleep purring.

     Suddenly, I have a great idea for how to connect Book 5 to Burchill. Where did I put that file? www.imajinbooks.com

February 5-10, 2012

     One of the delights of our walks is spying and hearing all the birds as they hop around the branches in the quiet of the morning. The colours that seem to be predominant this year are yellow and orange: at any rate, those are the ones that have caught our eyes. Vince loves it when we discover a new species. He goes directly to his Birds of Mexico book to look them up and list them. We have found the white-ringed flycatcher, for instance. About the size of a robin, it's very distinctive with its yellow neck, which turns white at the head, with a black streak that circles the white along the beak and over the top of its head. Looks like s/he is wearing a mask. We've also seen the black-vented oriole for the first time. Again the size of a robin, this bird is jet black, with a yellow-orange breast. (See the pictures.)

     Of course there are the magnificent frigates, who soar on the breezes far overhead, and the graceful terns who call to one another as they skim the waves. Pelicans are numerous, diving into the sea where they gulp down a fish, sometimes so big they have to wiggle it through their gullets. The pigeons here are gorgeous, so many colours and patterns. They tiptoe up to the pool to have a drink, coo at us all day. Vultures hover when a dead fish washes up on the sand.
     One day we spied something that looked like a huge eel on the shore. Someone told us it was a barracuda. The vultures were extremely interested, but the body was too close to the umbrellas. A kind soul took it away before the smell became overwhelming.
     I know I've mentioned my grackles before. My guy who talks to me hasn't shown up very often. And I'm thrilled that my willet and curlew are back! I've written a children's storybook about them (kind of fudging the facts) and Vince is going to put pictures with it. First, Maire has to edit and approve.
     Last night, we spent hours on our balcony with Maire and John, just watching the sun set. Look at the sample of pictures that Vince got! The sky was so magnificent, it was like being at a play or fireworks: we oohed and ah-ed all night.

     We're also entertained by the ships - a big cruise ship, one cargo ship that carries a helicopter on its back.
      Some time while I merrily slept, the promised rain came barrelling in. Vince got up and brought the furniture in from the balcony and I heard nothing. Today is a grey one, with a light rain falling. Perfect for shopping (hop on a bus, take a cab back) and writing.
     The readers who answered my question about endings don't prefer happy ones, thank goodness. I'm not contemplating one for this book. But in the last few days, I've made a breakthrough I think. I believe I know where it's going, although that's not always the case when I get there.
     I'm always so lucky with being able to correspond with different writers and readers. Melodie and Cheryl Freedman are great friends as well as fellow writers, at various stages in our careers, and we share our processes and thoughts freely with one another. The Imajin Nation group, formed by our publisher, is an endless source of inspiration and encouragement, as well as information. Judy, whom I have known for many years but only just realized is an excellent writer, is just beginning to think about putting her memoirs into a book. She's had such a difficult journey so far in her life, fraught with tragedy and grief: I think her story would be encouraging to others who have suffered. Bev continues to be a source of inspiration, too. She is obsessed with her writing and willing to do anything to get just the right tone and technique. That's the sign of a real writer. I received an excerpt of a book about the south of France from a friend of a friend, and I am blown away by the potential. Although I haven't been able to meet with them yet, I've just been asked to join a group of CWC women writers, and I can't wait for the sharing to begin. I still have my MCM group too: we've been friends and fellow writers for 36 years. Having these connections is absolutely invigorating and necessary!
     I've finished the last proof of Legacy and now I have the cover. When I get back, the marketing work will restart. In the meantime, off to see where Sweet Karoline will really go...

To Market, To Market, Will I Be a Fat Pig?

I've discovered that sitting at my computer tweeting, scribing, linking, facebooking, googling, skyping, and chatting has done absolutely nothing for my butt. In fact, I am expanding as I sit here. I may be stuck here for good. Soon my cheeks will spill out over my desk chair onto the floor.

I did have a plan. Under my desk is my step. It’s made of solid foam and it’s just high enough to require some work to step up and down. Currently it serves as my footstool. Two lovely blue weights gather dust to my left. They would be excellent for exercising the arms while I facebook. The stairs loom over to my right. Running up and down them for more water would be good for me. Both for the cardio and the fluid. Instead I seem to think a bottle of red wine more conducive to marketing.

Has all of this been working? Have I sold a rash of books? I have absolutely no idea. I’m too busy to check. 

I am engrossed in cyberworld, anchored to my chair by my enormous derriere, scrambling to find those weights under the dust and piles of paper. My eyes are glued to the screen. My fingers are the only part of my anatomy getting thin. Even my fingernails have disappeared. My pinky is especially slender because of her habit of sticking straight up in the air every time I take a sip of wine. She gets a real work-out.

How can you possibly help me?

Go buy one of my books, for godssake, so I can rise to my feet before it’s too late.

Check out the new chapter book from Imajin Books called Imajin This! You get to preview all the authors before you buy – all for free from Smashwords. Including The Bridgeman and Victim.http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/114590

What's Your Name Little Girl?

When I was a kid, I went to Camp Robogey every summer. I didn’t even make up the name of that camp, though I may have invented the spelling.

They taught us lots and lots of camp songs, which we’d holler at the top of our lungs out in the field and on the bus. One of them was called, “What’s your name?” The boy was “Lemme Kissya”. The girl gave a variety of answers, depending on her mood. Such as “Ida Wanna” or “Wanna More”.

To me, having a variety of monikers was not unusual. In our household, we all had nicknames. Admittedly, I was the one who gave out the names, so I guess it’s more honestly to say that everyone was called something different depending on my mood. Beanaball, Dursky, Wild Cherry, Facey…they all meant something at the time. One of my sisters still suffers under the name I called her nearly fifty years ago: Leedalo. (It’s a long story.)

For me, Catherine meant my parents were not very pleased with me. Which occurred fairly often, since I was the eldest and a spoiled brat. Catherine Lynne was even worse because my mom or dad was taking the time to say the first and second, usually in a rather loud voice.

I was therefore Cathy. To my friends, my family, and to my parents when I was behaving. At school. In the yearbooks. In the newspaper, when I wrote for the Press Club, or got my picture taken with the high school field hockey team.

When I got married, the woman always took her husband’s name. So I did and now I had a different last name. Then I got married again. Repeat. Then I got married again. Kept both that time. (No comments, please, on my former serial marriages. That’s for another blog—maybe.)

Cathy This, Cathy That, Cathy ThatNow, Cathy Now. Mr. Now called me Katy, so I added that to the list.

Still not Catherine.

Until my books came along. Catherine, after all, is my legal name. Catherine Astolfo to be specific (having dropped That in common usage). So that’s how my books got published: The Bridgeman, by Catherine Astolfo; Victim, by Catherine Astolfo (www.imajinbooks.com).

BUT, my different names habit continued and I unknowingly made it very difficult for people to find my books. My blog, I call Katy’s Words (www.katywords.blogspot.com). My website, I call www.catherineastolfo.com. My email uses both: cathy@catherineastolfo.com.

People who are my readers (and sometimes my friends) call me Catherine. It still makes me shiver. But it’s better than having them ask, “What’s your name, old girl?”

Team Daught.mom

 

Kristen calls me and asks if I’d like to try out for a TV game show. No idea what the game is or what’s expected, but my daughter and I figure there is no bad publicity. Why not go on television if we can? Then, of course, there’s the possibility of a $10,000 prize…

We wear a sign saying "Team Daught.mom". It's Kristen's idea and it's brilliant. Vince adds the "dot" because it reminds him of a url. The assistants love the sign. No one else has one.

We arrive a tad late and I am pressured to fill out the form. They ask what I fear and I say spiders, hoping it’s not a “face your worse fear” game. The form also wants me to list what “party tricks” I can do, what my strengths are, and my weaknesses. I can only think of writing and singing for the party tricks, do okay with the strengths, and fall apart on the weaknesses. I don’t want to tell the truth – like “I suck at trivia” – just in case it’s a jeopardy game. So I say my weaknesses are red wine and Brad Pitt.

This starts the conversation about the time I ran after Brad at The Toronto International Film Festival. The girls beside us want to know, but we’re called to attention.

They hand out a one-pager of multiple-choice questions, trivia they call it. Reads more like general knowledge to me. I guess at most of the answers, only really know one or two for certain. I hope this won’t be a make-or-break toward that ten thousand dollar prize.

Next we’re called into the audition room. They tell us we’re going to participate in a couple of fun games. We line up across from our partners in two lines, then face the front. The young good-looking assistant gives each team a tennis ball. The instructions are to pass it to one another without the use of our hands. He reminds us that this is where they want to see us shine. “Show us your big personalities,” he says. So we do.

The ball starts off being passed chin to chin. Lucky for me I am beside a tall good-looking young guy, whose beard tickles my neck. I take a little longer than necessary to pass the ball. We laugh and encourage each other with shouts and high-fives. The next game is called suck and blow. I kid you not.

This elicits a lot of guffaws. But we listen politely to the instructions on how do it. You suck on the paper to hold it in your mouth, then blow out to attach it to the next mouth. What if you’d admitted your worst fear was germs?

The last thing we have to do is walk a carpet as though it’s a catwalk. We call out and clap for the others as they dance, wiggle, or even cartwheel down the room. When it’s Kristen’s turn, she gives them the D-Cup shimmy and I figure it’s pretty much sewn up for us. So I seal the deal with a song and dance and a show of ass as I sing, “I like big butts”. They seem to like them, too.

We’re sent to the waiting room to see who will be picked. Kristen and I are among the six selected to go to the next stage: an interview with the…I dunno, directors, producers, writers? Anyhow, they ask us questions about our backgrounds and what we do for a living. I’m a bit nervous but manage to tell them some coherent things. Then sadly, we are asked to demonstrate our “party tricks”. Kristen does really well – she sells one of the interview team his own pen. I could write something, I say, I mean I’m a writer, but I guess that’s no good for television…after that, I have no choice but to sing.

“Blue moon, you saw me standing alone…”

Don’t call us, we’ll call you, they say as we leave.

 http://www.amazon.com/Bridgeman-Emily-Taylor-Mystery-ebook/dp/B005Z5IM28

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/98348

http://www.youtube.com/user/imajinbooks

On Being Indie

Donna Carrick, an extraordinary person, writer, and now publisher, invited me to do a guest blog in her series "On Being Indie" and I was thrilled to do so. Having been Indie (self-published) and now published (with Cheryl Tradif, who never discourages her authors from switching back and forth between modalities), I had lots to write about.

Check out the blog at www.carrickpublishing.com and please leave a comment!

Thanks - I honestly always appreciate my readers, even though I don't always say it.

Cathy
www.imajinbooks.com

Unabashed Hussy Blog

Unabashed Hussy Me I looked up hussy and one of the definitions was a “shameless ho”. That seems to fit. I am throwing all my dignity away and selling my children. OK, well, the ones that I wrote, not birthed. Still. All because I want to be John Locke. Not the guy from Lost, the other guy. The one who sold a million ebooks. I haven’t finished reading his book about how he sold a million, because I don’t have time. So I brazenly sent out the following marketing plea to all the people I know. And even some I don’t know. I’ll let you know how it goes, but only if you become one of my customers. I’ll even tell John. Maybe he can add unabashed hussy to the index in his book. Could WE Sell a Million? Well, maybe not, but another writer did it, so why not try? Here’s how you can help make me a best seller and maybe sell…well, lots of books. You’ll also be eligible for prizes – a Kindle ereader or a gift certificate to your favourite restaurant are among the ideas that I’ve come up with. Of course, the higher the sales, the more numerous and better the prizes will be. Go through the steps below and you’ll see how it works. 1. On or after October 25, 2011, go to Amazon, Smashwords, or Kobo, or www.imajinbooks.com and order my book. The first one will be The Bridgeman, second Victim...maybe Legacy before Christmas. If you don’t have an ereader, you can choose a pdf file from Smashwords and read it on your computer until you win the Kindle. If you’ve already read them, pretend it’s a ticket for the prize. Don’t worry about registering for any of these Internet sites. They’re safe and they won’t bug you - if they ever do, tell me! Then let me know that you have bought it and I will put your name into the draw for a prize. If this is as far as you want to go, thank you thank you, and I hope we both win. If you can do a little more, see #2. 2. Get your friends, family, colleagues, people whose secrets you know, and people who owe you to do the same as #1. Ask them to tell you when they buy it. Then let me know, too. Your friends’ names will go into the draw and so will yours – if 10 friends bought, you get ten more chances and they get one each. If they tell their friends, etc – well, you get the idea. If this is as far as you want to go, a million thanks and again, may we both win. If you can do even more, see #3. 3. Give my book some stars and/or a review on Amazon or any of the other websites (such as Smashwords). Put it up on twitter or Facebook or any linkage to which you are connected - your company newsletter, whatever. Let me know that you did this, and you get (an)other chance(s) at the prize(s). If you can do even more, you must be my best friend or family ha ha - see #4. 4. Sign up for my blog at www.katywords.blogspot.com. Again, they’re safe and they won’t bug you and if they ever do, tell me! My blogs will appear in your email on a regular basis, letting you know where I am so you can come see me and who knows? Win ANOTHER prize. Thank you for considering doing any or all of the above. You are the BEST. Cathy